What's on my mind?

[serenissima]

I've had a lot of thoughts in the past few days that, at the time they crossed my mind, seemed vaguely blog-worthy, but the moment (generally at work) wasn't appropriate for blogging. These thoughts probably aren't terribly coherent anyway.

My brother got a new job -- a programming job. I'm very pleased for him and proud, and a tad bit jealous. All of a sudden, my brother has gone from being the mooching retail clerk to the sibling with the "real job" with career prospects (I assume -- certainly it'll look nice on his resume). Programming is what I was supposed to do. Instead I stayed with this dead-end office assistant job. If I were brave and had gumption, I'd've been outta here two years ago.

Now that I think of it, probably all my doubts relate in some way to worrying about what success is and whether I will ever be successful. Net worth? Disposable income? Non-financial job satisfaction? Number of items crossed off my lifetime to-do list? Where is that list... oh, here it is, as of about a year ago.

I guess the bottom line is being able to look back upon your life, when you reach the end of it, and be satisfied with what you have done with the resources and opportunities you were given. I notice now that my list does not include helping anyone. I would very much like for the world to be a better place for my having existed. But how exactly? What specific steps shall I take to save the world? I'm also selfish enough to want plenty of creature comforts. Am I making the right decisions for the benefit of my future self? For my future family?

It's late... I should get some sleep.

EDIT 1/22/07: Was going through my archives and came across this.

Comments

[403.livejournal.com]

I'd go for non-financial job satisfaction, within reason. If you make lots of money at a job that you dislike, that's still 1/3 of your day (at minimum) spent in a manner that's detrimental to your mental well-being.

[(Anonymous)]

The end of your life is way too late to determine success. That's a real time feedback loop sort of thing. Are you happy with who you are, where you're at, what you're doing? Do you feel productive? Are you multiplying the talents you've been given, or have you dug a hole in a field and burried them in order to keep them "safe"?

Be who you want to be, insofar as you know what that is. Strive to be the best *you* you can be. Not the best anything else anyone else might call successful.

The risks are enormous.

But so are the rewards. :-)

Laura