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job anxiety
Sep. 6th, 2002 11:22 am[re-posted from DiaryLand]
I feel pretty low today. I feel unable to get where I want to be. Since last weekend I've been playing with the idea of visiting a company in person to ask for a job; I just got back from the Cox Communications building, where the security guard at the front desk sent me back home to the web: they don't accept resumes from walk-ins. Which is a policy I should have expected. On the way there I was trying to think of my strengths and weaknesses, in case I was asked about them, but all I could think of were weaknesses. I was thinking, too, that I should have read up more about the company before driving over. The level of anxiety I have before trying to get a job is at least as much as I ever had before taking an exam. A few straight hours of it, and I'd probably get sick.
What are my weaknesses? I get flustered trying to handle many tasks at once; I do better focussing on one thing at a time. I don't think well on my feet; I prefer to take a little time to make decisions. I get stressed when I have to put myself forward, as in an interview. I am shy and I lack self-confidence. I have very little experience.
What are my strengths? I've been saying that I learn quickly. I like to think that I am creative, but I worry that that only applies to arts & crafts. I'm willing to work for cheap wages. That's all I can think of.
Last night I was at the registration for an ESL class run through my church. I was observing the procedure. I really like teaching. Because the Linux class was canceled, I switched to a computer security class that meets on Tuesday and Thursday nights, so I won't be able to teach at the regular ESL class held on Thursday nights, but there is another one that meets on Monday nights, and I hope to be at some of those classes. I'm excited about that. I wish I could be as excited about something more lucrative.
The unspoken accusation "You aren't trying" has been hanging over my head this morning. I haven't been examining the leads sent me by my various little job website agents for several days. I haven't been following up on places I sent my resume all summer. It's more difficult when the job posting doesn't list a phone number, but I suppose I could find a way somehow if I were determined to. I get discouraged easily -- that's another weakness.
I feel pretty low today. I feel unable to get where I want to be. Since last weekend I've been playing with the idea of visiting a company in person to ask for a job; I just got back from the Cox Communications building, where the security guard at the front desk sent me back home to the web: they don't accept resumes from walk-ins. Which is a policy I should have expected. On the way there I was trying to think of my strengths and weaknesses, in case I was asked about them, but all I could think of were weaknesses. I was thinking, too, that I should have read up more about the company before driving over. The level of anxiety I have before trying to get a job is at least as much as I ever had before taking an exam. A few straight hours of it, and I'd probably get sick.
What are my weaknesses? I get flustered trying to handle many tasks at once; I do better focussing on one thing at a time. I don't think well on my feet; I prefer to take a little time to make decisions. I get stressed when I have to put myself forward, as in an interview. I am shy and I lack self-confidence. I have very little experience.
What are my strengths? I've been saying that I learn quickly. I like to think that I am creative, but I worry that that only applies to arts & crafts. I'm willing to work for cheap wages. That's all I can think of.
Last night I was at the registration for an ESL class run through my church. I was observing the procedure. I really like teaching. Because the Linux class was canceled, I switched to a computer security class that meets on Tuesday and Thursday nights, so I won't be able to teach at the regular ESL class held on Thursday nights, but there is another one that meets on Monday nights, and I hope to be at some of those classes. I'm excited about that. I wish I could be as excited about something more lucrative.
The unspoken accusation "You aren't trying" has been hanging over my head this morning. I haven't been examining the leads sent me by my various little job website agents for several days. I haven't been following up on places I sent my resume all summer. It's more difficult when the job posting doesn't list a phone number, but I suppose I could find a way somehow if I were determined to. I get discouraged easily -- that's another weakness.