Autopilot

I've sort of been on autopilot for the past couple weeks — in reactive mode rather than proactive mode, you might say. The floor is covered with dog hair, I have two hampers of clean laundry in the bedroom and a pile of dirty laundry in the closet (since the hampers are holding the clean clothes), the kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes again, and I haven't washed my hair since Saturday. I have been very unmotivated to do anything constructive. Most of the energy I have for "supposed to"/"need to" has been spent on schoolwork rather than housework.

I don't know what's going on with me. From my behavior, one might conclude that I'm depressed, but actually I've been pretty happy. I have limited interest in food and haven't cooked in weeks, but I know the reason behind that, and I don't think it extends to the rest of my life.

I'm growing seedlings in peat pellets. Three pellets have cilantro, three have gaillardia ("Sundance bicolor"), and four have zinnias ("State fair mix"). Won't it be neat to be able to use fresh cilantro grown from our own pot, and only take as much as we need, not a whole bunch of which half rots before we can use it. One of the pellets with zinnias hasn't yet put up a sprout. I think I see a little bit of green under the peat there, but the other day I accidentally broke the tallest zinnia seedling while trying to disentangle it from my ficus, so even if the fourth one grows, I'll still end up with just three. Perhaps, after I pot those seedlings, I should start some more? But they take over a month to grow this big. The ficus needs to be repotted, too. The cheap plastic pot it's in is deformed from the pressure of its roots.