The fifth question
Aug. 12th, 2008 09:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serenissimaI've been thinking about the question, "does it feel any different being married?"
As opposed to being part of a committed but unmarried couple, no, not much different. I think most of the difference is in signaling to other people the permanency of our relationship: when we use the words "wife" and "husband," the person to whom we're speaking can safely assume that said significant other is here to stay. Otherwise... well, we can now file our taxes jointly, and some of his benefits from work amount to more money than they would if he were single. That's pretty much it; life goes on as before.
The more significant change happened years before, as we came to know, trust, and rely on each other. Once or twice, someone who had not had a serious long-term relationship asked me what it's like. The best word I can come up with is "comfort." It's the security of knowing I have someone to talk to about nearly anything, someone who understands me and who needs me, too. True, it also means there's always someone else to consider when I make plans, be they activities for the weekend or major purchases. But I'm so much happier sharing everything with him than alone.
As opposed to being part of a committed but unmarried couple, no, not much different. I think most of the difference is in signaling to other people the permanency of our relationship: when we use the words "wife" and "husband," the person to whom we're speaking can safely assume that said significant other is here to stay. Otherwise... well, we can now file our taxes jointly, and some of his benefits from work amount to more money than they would if he were single. That's pretty much it; life goes on as before.
The more significant change happened years before, as we came to know, trust, and rely on each other. Once or twice, someone who had not had a serious long-term relationship asked me what it's like. The best word I can come up with is "comfort." It's the security of knowing I have someone to talk to about nearly anything, someone who understands me and who needs me, too. True, it also means there's always someone else to consider when I make plans, be they activities for the weekend or major purchases. But I'm so much happier sharing everything with him than alone.
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Date: 2008-08-12 03:29 pm (UTC)I agree - the most important thing to me is that