stumbling in the dark
Jul. 21st, 2002 04:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serenissima[reposted from DiaryLand]
Out of the murky future, two immediate choices are being highlighted for me: I can stay at my aunt & uncle's house where my brother is now, trading places with him while he comes back for school, and continue the part-time job he now has working for my aunt while I use my other two days of the week to look for a full-time job. Or, I can stay here and be a full-time student for a semester or two at the university that employs my mother, for free tuition.
My parents are in favor of my taking more classes. They think learning new skills will make me more employable, more than doing office work will. They are anxious to take advantage of the free tuition before my mother retires. They think the job market may be better after a wait.
I want to leave. I am tired of taking classes. I want to get some work experience and make some money. I want to be near Chris. I think I would learn only one marketable skill at the university: databases/SQL. If I need to, I can always take courses from companies that specialize in technical training. On the other hand, a job that is a step toward my goal of a software development position is by no means guaranteed if I leave. Chances are good that I will end up doing office work. Will that help me on my way?
I don't know. I am torn. I could stay at home and be a student fall semester, maybe even work retail in the evenings and weekends, and leave at the new year. But then Chris would only have one semester of school left and depart the following fall for grad school in some unknown city. Assuming I found a job in the spring, would moving after seven months or so be a good idea?
Only one thing is clear: my current situation is no good. Yesterday morning I woke up lonely -- not for Chris necessarily, but for having friends around to talk to. I suppose this means I can go for as long as two months alone in a cabin in the woods and not be lonely. But I need to do something, for my mental well-being.
Out of the murky future, two immediate choices are being highlighted for me: I can stay at my aunt & uncle's house where my brother is now, trading places with him while he comes back for school, and continue the part-time job he now has working for my aunt while I use my other two days of the week to look for a full-time job. Or, I can stay here and be a full-time student for a semester or two at the university that employs my mother, for free tuition.
My parents are in favor of my taking more classes. They think learning new skills will make me more employable, more than doing office work will. They are anxious to take advantage of the free tuition before my mother retires. They think the job market may be better after a wait.
I want to leave. I am tired of taking classes. I want to get some work experience and make some money. I want to be near Chris. I think I would learn only one marketable skill at the university: databases/SQL. If I need to, I can always take courses from companies that specialize in technical training. On the other hand, a job that is a step toward my goal of a software development position is by no means guaranteed if I leave. Chances are good that I will end up doing office work. Will that help me on my way?
I don't know. I am torn. I could stay at home and be a student fall semester, maybe even work retail in the evenings and weekends, and leave at the new year. But then Chris would only have one semester of school left and depart the following fall for grad school in some unknown city. Assuming I found a job in the spring, would moving after seven months or so be a good idea?
Only one thing is clear: my current situation is no good. Yesterday morning I woke up lonely -- not for Chris necessarily, but for having friends around to talk to. I suppose this means I can go for as long as two months alone in a cabin in the woods and not be lonely. But I need to do something, for my mental well-being.